The Quest to Touch Grass By FrankTheTank_9
This is a Choose-Your-Own Story. Start at the first paragraph, make your decision, then skip ahead to the paragraph you are told to go to. You will also need a standard, six-sided die. Be warned, there are small mentions of blood, and it is possible to die in this adventure.
1
You have spent the whole summer at home, in front of your computer, watching YouTube Shorts. It’s been months since you last left your house. Suddenly, a voice screams out from your computer. “Enough of your stupid Youtube Shorts! You need to get a life, buddy! Maybe touch some grass for a change?” Then it shuts off. You frantically try to turn your computer back on again, but it’s no use. Your computer stubbornly refuses to turn back on. After a couple hours, you finally give up. You cry in the corner of your room for some time, then you realize you need to do something. It’s pretty clear that crying in the corner isn’t helping anything. You wonder if your computer is correct, maybe you do need to touch some grass. But then you think about all the content you are missing out on. YouTube has evolved to be a part of you. Can you even survive without it? If you love YouTube that much, you could buy a new PC and carry on your life on YouTube, without touching any grass. This is your first big decision.
Should you follow your computer’s advice and go touch some grass? Or should you completely ignore it and buy a new PC? To touch grass, go to paragraph 2. To buy a new PC, go to paragraph 3
2
You load up your bag with the basic necessities: A tent, a sleeping bag, bug spray, extra clothes, a map, your wallet, a water bottle, and the most important thing of them all: 5 bags of Doritos. You get in your car, and drive off to the campground, determined to go touch some grass. After two hours of driving, the car sputters and hisses. You pull over to the shoulder of the road. The engine stalls out, and the car rolls to a stop. You are really confused, wondering what happened. Then you check the fuel meter. The needle is pointing all the way down, straight at the “Empty” line. You forgot to fuel up your car, and now you are stranded on the side of an empty road, with no sign of civilization in sight. But wait. . . there is a sign up ahead. It says “Campground: 5 miles” What luck! The campground is a somewhat walkable distance from your car. But you don’t want to leave your car behind. You need a way to get back home, and you love your car like a baby. Plus, you need it to drive back home. Then you look behind you and you see another sign on the other road “ Gas Station: 3 miles”. Maybe you won't have to leave your car behind after all. You could go and get a can of gas from the station and fuel up your car. Keep in mind that you have to walk 3 miles twice to get to the gas station and back. Either way, you are in for a lot of walking. Or are you? You’ve watched a lot of videos from 5 Minute Crafts, and there were several videos on car maintenance. Maybe you could fix your car and save up on a lot of walking. The choice is yours.
To try to fix your car, go to paragraph 4. To walk to the campground, go to paragraph 5. To walk to the gas station, go to paragraph 6
3
You get in your car and drive to GameStop. You are very determined to get back to your YouTube Shorts, no matter the cost. You arrive at the store, and get out of your car. 5 minutes later you are back in your car with a brand new gaming laptop. You drive back home, and you boot up your new laptop. You wait anxiously for it to load, and then an error message pops up. “Error: User has not touched grass in months. Go outside, touch some grass, then try relogging back on.” The laptops are all onto you. They really want you to touch grass and you have just wasted 1,000 dollars. It is in your best interest to go touch grass if you ever want to go back to your YouTube Shorts.
What are you waiting for? Go touch grass in Paragraph 2.
4
You try to find a way to start up your engine. You search the car, looking for any spare fuel, but you find nothing. You check your backpack. As expected, you don’t have an extra tank of gas just lying around in there. You are ready to give up and start walking, but then an idea comes to your mind. Doritos! Who doesn’t love Doritos? A video on 5 Minute Crafts showed someone putting Doritos in a car engine and then the car ran again. And that makes perfect sense, right? Even cars can’t resist Doritos. With a bit of luck, your car should be running again, at least according to 5 Minute Crafts.
Do you want to put Doritos in your engine? Head to paragraph 7 if you want to try. If you don’t want to put Doritos in your car, go to the campground or gas station in either paragraph 5 or 6.
5
You begin the journey to the campground. Once you get to the campground, you will find the ranger’s office and get help recovering your car. At least that’s what you hope. The first mile you walk is very dull. But already you are getting tired, and your feet are starting to hurt. Another reminder that you aren’t exactly in good shape to do strenuous activity. Still, you keep trudging on. Until you reach a problem. The road is closed. It looks like there is construction going on in the middle of the road. A sewer line must have cracked. The sun is setting and the construction workers have all left for the day. You might be able to sneak through the construction site without anyone noticing. Then you notice a small trail off to the right. It looks like it leads the same way as the road does. However it will definitely take longer to get to camp if you take this way. Choose wisely.
If you want to cut through the construction site, go to paragraph 8. If you want to take the trail, go to paragraph 9.
6
You decide to go to the gas station. You could never bring yourself to even think about leaving your car behind in such a remote area. You’re willing to put in the extra walking to make sure you can return home safely. You start walking. After you’ve gone less than a mile, you are already starting to feel tired, and your feet are starting to get sore. You drink some water. You only brought one bottle, and you need to ration it to make it last six miles. The sun’s rays are beating down on you. You don’t know if you can make it that far out in the open. Then you see a trail in the woods to the left. The dense forest will provide protection from the hot sun, but it will also be a more dangerous path. Your sweaty body tells you to take the woods. But your survival instincts tell you to stay on the road, where it’s safer. Which way do you choose?
If you want to stay on the road, go to paragraph 10. If you decide to take the trail in the woods, go to paragraph 11.
7
You decide to put Doritos in your car. You really don’t feel like walking, plus you feel very confident in your ability to fix your car. Maybe one day you could even become a professional mechanic. You open up two bags of Doritos, and pour them into the fuel tank. You climb into the driver's seat and turn on the ignition. Believe it or not, the car actually starts up! You are so happy to hear your car working again. You push down on the gas pedal, and the car rolls forward 5 feet. . . and explodes into a ball of fire. Turns out, cars don’t like Doritos. You probably aren’t going to become a car mechanic any time soon.
Uh oh. . . you have died! Learn from your mistakes and start over at paragraph 1!
8
You walk through the construction site. It is much bigger than you thought it was, and it continues on for at least half a mile. But one of the workers has left out a half-filled water bottle. You quickly take it and drink it. That was refreshing! You can’t help but marvel at the amazing equipment the construction workers are using. Bulldozers, skidsteers, and excavators. . . You’ve only seen pictures of some of these vehicles. And the power tools. . . You would love to get your hands on a power saw! Imagine what you could do with it! There is one machine that stands out to you in particular. That machine is the giant crane in the middle of the site. It is bigger than a 10-story building. You didn’t know they made cranes this big. You are really wondering what the construction workers are planning to do with all this equipment! Suddenly, a sharp pain surges through your left foot. You have just stepped on a nail. You were so distracted and didn’t look ahead of you. The giant nail went right through your shoe and poked right into your foot. You hop on one leg, clutching your foot in agony. You start to regret your decision to go through the construction site.
Roll a six-sided die. If it lands on 1 , 3, or 5, go to paragraph 12. If it lands on anything else, go to paragraph 13.
9
You don’t want to risk yourself going right through a construction site. You don’t even have a hard-hat! You begin walking the trail through the woods. Everything is going good until you realize that the sun has set. The dense forest blocks out the moonlight, so it is completely pitch black in the forest. You can’t even see the road to the left. You fumble around in your pack and pull out your flashlight. You turn it on. Luckily, it still has a lot of battery power left. You keep trudging through the woods. You have a bad feeling that someone, or something, is watching you, judging you, even. You hear a low, quiet growl from behind you. You spin around with your light, and there is a giant, brown, grizzly bear standing right behind you, looking straight at you. Your first instinct is to run away, but you remember watching a video that said the best thing to do was to slowly back away. You could also unleash that inner gamer of yours and stand up to the bear. What do you choose?
If you wish to slowly back away, head to paragraph 14. If you want to run away, go to paragraph 15. If you want to stand up and challenge the bear, go to paragraph 16.
10
You choose to stay on the road. You are glad you did so, because less than an hour later, the sun sets and night falls. There are no streetlights, but you have brought a flashlight with you, so you switch it on. As you are walking, you guzzle down the last of your water. You continue walking on. It’s starting to get late and you are very tired and thirsty. You don’t know how much more of this you can take. But wait. . . You see it!
Go to 10.5.
10.5
There it is! The gas station!! It’s only a shadow in the distance, but you have gotten newfound strength! You run as fast as you can toward the gas station. You reach the station. Just your luck. It’s abandoned. But by some miracle, the gas pump still works, and there’s still gas in it. You start filling up a can with gas. Then you hear a buzzing sound. What was that? It’s coming from the convenience store. You are curious and open the rusted door, and you almost get a heart attack! There, right inside the store, is the biggest hornet’s nest you have ever seen! You slam the door shut in a panic, but you have already stirred up the hornets. You don’t count on the deteriorating structure to contain the angry hornets. You should probably run away. But maybe it was your destiny to be the hero to exterminate those beasts. It would be an amazing story to write: You take down a giant hornet’s nest with your bare hands! Then you almost trip on something. You pick it up. It’s a BIC lighter. An idea comes to your head. You could burn the nest to the ground with the lighter and the gasoline. The choice is yours!
If you choose to take on the nest with your bare hands, go to paragraph 17. If you want to exterminate them with a fire, go to paragraph 18. If you want to run away, go to paragraph 19.
11
You choose to take the trail. The shade feels very good on your body. You even find a stream with clean water! But the good feeling doesn’t last very long. Because the sun sets in less than an hour, and the tree’s canopy blocks out the moonlight, meaning it is almost pitch black in the forest. You pull out your flashlight and turn it on. The trail is very rugged, and soon you are really hungry. Just as you are thinking about food, you see a bush. It has bright red, shiny berries. Your stomach growls in anticipation. But you also have Doritos in your backpack. But you packed those for emergencies only, and you have an alternate food source available. Plus, you are pretty sure the berries would be healthier than Doritos. Pick your choice. If you choose to
eat your Doritos, eat them quickly as you head to paragraph 10.5. If you want to try the berries, head to paragraph 11.5
11.5
You eat the berries. They taste very bitter and sour. You swallow them really hard. Almost immediately, your stomach twists like a roller coaster. What chemicals were in those berries?! Your abdomen is in complete agony! Can you continue on like this?
Roll a die. If you get a 1, 3, or 6, the toxic berries were too much for your system and you collapse, dead. Start your adventure over. However, if you get a 2, 4, or 5, you vomit up the berries before they do any permanent damage. Get up on your feet and go to paragraph 10.5.
12
You hop around in pain, clutching your bleeding foot. Too late, you see an open manhole in front of you. You try to stop yourself, but you have already lost your balance. You fall into the hole, screaming. Normally, a fall into a regular sewer would only injure you, but this sewer has been closed for construction, and a giant hole has been dug right below the manhole in which you have just fallen into. You keep falling and falling. Eventually, you hit the bottom. You are beyond any medical treatment possible. Your clumsiness has been the cause of your demise.
Uh oh! You have died! Your slow reflexes have resulted in your death! Start your adventure over at paragraph 1.
13
You hop around in pain, clutching your bleeding foot. You are stumbling around in agony when you see the open manhole. At the last second, you jump away from it with all your power. You land into a pile of dirt. The adrenaline drains out of your system. You start in amazement at the manhole, a death in which you just barely avoided. You take off your shoe and look at your foot again. The bleeding has stopped, but your foot still hurts, and you dread the remaining distance in which you have to walk. You look at a mile marker and luckily, you only have about a mile left to walk. You hobble along.
Go to 13.5
13.5
Finally, after a very painful walk, you reach the campground. You couldn’t be happier. You walk to your campsite, set up your tent and sleeping bag, and collapse. You are very dirty and exhausted. You have one of the best sleeps you’ve ever had. When you wake up, you eat breakfast(Doritos), and begin to walk to the camp office. You need to explain your situation to the park ranger. Hopefully you can get back home with their help. But on the way to the camp office, you see a very wealthy couple camping in a very expensive RV. But you aren’t paying attention to that. Parked right next to the camper is a brand new lamborghini! You can’t take your eyes off it! You take a closer look at it and see the keys are just lying on the picnic table. An idea comes to mind. Why save your old junker car if you can have a lamborghini? Should you do it?
If you want to commit grand-theft-auto, go to paragraph 20. If you’d rather not steal the car and continue on your way, go to paragraph 21.
14
You begin slowly backing away from the bear. You raise your hands up in surrender, never taking your eyes off the bear. You take one step at a time, slowly putting more space between you and the bear. The bear looks at you in curiosity, not sure if you are a threat or not.
Roll a six-sided die. If you get a 6, the bear will feel very hungry and charge you. Start your adventure over at 1. However if you get any other number, the bear walks away and you are safe. Go to paragraph 13.5.
15
You run away from the bear as fast as you can. Which isn’t very fast considering you’ve spent the last several months of your life sitting in front of your computer. You hear heavy breathing behind you. You risk a glance behind you. The bear is ten feet behind you, closing the distance at a very fast rate. You panic and run faster, putting everything you’ve got into your feet, but it’s still not enough. The bear nips at your legs, and you fall to the ground. The bear helps itself to its dinner and walks away. The park rangers find your skeleton in the woods a few days later.
Uh oh. . . You have died. Never underestimate a grizzly bear! Start your adventure over at paragraph 1.
16
You unleash your inner gamer and stand up to the bear. You ball up your fists and yell as loud as you can. The bear is very surprised at your challenge and doesn’t know what to do next. What will be its response?
Roll a six-sided die. If you get a 1, 2,or 3, the bear accepts your challenge and charges you. You don’t stand a chance against the bear and you die in a very humiliating way. However, if you get a 4, 5, or 6, the bear backs away from you and runs into the woods. Celebrate your victory and go to paragraph 13.5.
17
You decide to be the hero and exterminate the pests. You don’t have any equipment, but all that technology is overrated. You’ll show this generation that all you need to beat a hornet’s nest is some grit, spit, and endurance. You open the door into the abandoned convenience store. The wasps are getting stirred up by your movement, and a few of them try to sting you. You shrug off the pain, and walk over to the nest. More hornets start stinging you. You start punching the nest with your hands. The nest shakes. Hundreds of angry hornets fly out of the nest and attack you. There were much more hornets in there than you thought there would be. It’s complete chaos. The wasps are in a full rage, attacking you with all their power. You try to swat at them, but there are too many. The venom is overpowering you. Desperate, you make one more weak punch toward the nest, and you collapse to the ground. You die a very painful and spiky death.
Is that a porcupine over there?? Oh. . . never mind. It’s just you. But you are definitely dead and will have to start your adventure over at 1.
18
You grab the gas pump and begin to spray gasoline all over the hornet’s nest. The wasps are very confused as to what you are doing, but they try to attack you. The gasoline gets all over the hornets, coating their wings and making most of them incapable of flying. Some still get you and you take a couple stings to your arms and legs. When the nest is fully coated, you bring out your lighter and light up the nest. Time for a barbecue. But you didn’t think this through very well. The fire starts small, but grows at an alarming rate. You realize you need to get out of there there fast. You run out of the smoking building. You think you are going to make it out when the fire reaches a giant gas tank, and the whole place explodes. Can you make it out in time?
Roll a six-sided die. If you get a 1, 4, or 5, you escape with only a little singe to your hair. Go to paragraph 22 But if you get a 2, 3, or 6, you're not quick enough and the flames consume your body. Start your adventure over at 1.
19
Those hornets absolutely terrify you. You need to get out of here as fast as possible. You run away from the gas station as fast as you can, carrying your gas can with you. A few hornets sting you in the arms, but nothing too serious. After a mile of running, you are too exhausted to run any further. You collapse on the side of the road and fall asleep instantly. When you wake up, you are confronted by an angry wolf. You must have fallen asleep in its territory, and now it’s growling at you. Your first reaction is to run away, but would that be the smartest? You could also face up to it, but what insane person challenges a wolf? You must decide fast!
If you decide to face up to it, go to paragraph 23. If you want to run away, go to paragraph 24.
20
It’s too tempting. You must have that lamborghini! It was your destiny! You sneak into the rich couple’s campsite, and you swipe the keys to the lamborghini. You unlock the car. The couple still has not noticed you. You climb inside the car, and you take a moment to marvel at the car’s amazing features. You’ve never driven anything like this before. You hear a shout from behind you. The man has noticed you, and is shouting at you. You panic and turn the ignition on. The Dashboard lights up, and then you press on the gas pedal. The car zooms out of the campsite. You almost crash into a lamppost, but you swerve to avoid it. You are starting to get a feel for how the car handles. The rich couple is running behind you, waving their arms, shouting at you. You ignore them and drive away from them. You see the gates to the campsite and you drive right through them. You are on the open road. Freedom! You hear a siren behind you. You look in the rearview mirror, and you see two highway patrol cars chasing you with their lights flashing. The rich couple must have called the cops on you. You floor the accelerator, and soon you are going more than 130 miles per hour. The cops are struggling to keep up. You think you might have a decent chance at outrunning them. Too late, you see the construction site that you encountered earlier. You slam on the breaks, but it’s not enough. You crash right into a bulldozer. The airbags inflate. By some miracle, you aren’t injured. But the cops pull up behind you. They break open the car door and drag you out of the car. They handcuff you and put you in the backseat of a police cruiser.
Oh no . . . You’re still alive, but you will likely be spending the rest of your life in prison, with no grass to touch. Don’t be so reckless next time. Start your adventure over at 1.
21
You decide to leave the car alone and continue on your way. You don’t want to break the law, and you don’t even know how to drive a lamborghini. You see the camp office a couple hundred yards away. You knock on the door. A ranger opens the door. You explain your situation to him, and he is willing to help you. He offers you a ride back to your car. You accept it. When you arrive at your car, the ranger gives you just enough gas to drive to a gas station, where you fill up your tank to full.
Go to 21.5
21.5
While you are filling up your gas tank, you see a patch of grass in a nearby field. You walk over to it, and slowly reach your hand out. Your hand touches the grass. It feels very nice in your hand. Your computer now has no excuse to deny your YouTube Shorts now. You get back in your car and drive all the way back home. When you get back home, you open up your laptop and open YouTube. To your relief, the computer doesn’t deny it. You spend the rest of the day watching YouTube Shorts. Maybe one day, you’ll go back to the campground to relive that amazing experience.
Congratulations! You have successfully touched grass! Generations will tell of your amazing quest, and you can live the rest of your life with the satisfaction of knowing you have touched grass! 
22
You run as fast as you can on the road, carrying your gas can, adrenaline pumping through your body. You can’t believe you just blew up a hornet’s nest and lived to tell the tale! This will be an amazing story to tell to your grandchildren! But right now, you are running for your life to your car. You don’t know if any hornets survived, but you aren’t sticking around to find out. After miles of running, you are completely exhausted. You need to rest. But wait. . . you see it! There it is. Your car! You run faster now. You reach your car and collapse, breathing heavily. You take a long nap. When you wake up, it’s morning. You are dazed for just a bit, then you see your can full of gas. You begin pouring the gas into your car.
Go to 21.5.
23
You stand up, looking at the wolf straight in the eye. You make yourself look as big as possible, and you yell as loud as you can. The very surprised wolf looks at you in fear. It runs away, whimpering. You feel very invincible, scaring away a grown wolf like that. That’s going to be a story to tell. But you need to get to your car. You begin walking to your car, holding your can full of gas. Your feet start hurting again. You really don’t want to keep walking, but you know you must if you want to return home. Finally, after lots of walking, you see your car! You run up to it, exhausted, and sit down. You take a short rest break, then you stand up and begin filling up your car with gas.
Go to paragraph 21.5.
24
You run away from the wolf, determined to get away from it. But you hear pounding footsteps behind you. You look behind you, you see the angry wolf is chasing you. It barks and snaps its teeth at you. Panicked, you ran faster, but you were never in really good running shape, and the run from the gas station has taken a lot out of you. The wolf lunges and bites you in the rear, and you go down hard. The wolf drags you away to its den, where it and its pups enjoy their dinner.
Uh. . . oh. You were eaten by wolves! Start your adventure over at paragraph 1.
